Sweet nicotine

Current mood: Addicted
Listening to: King Of The World by Porcelain And The Tramps

I haven't smoked a cigarette in 89 days. Which means that on the 11th of january, I won't have inhaled that precious nicotine for 13 weeks. Did I quit cold turkey, from one day to the other? Yes. Was it easy? No. There were definitely withdrawals happening in the first week. But that was only physical withdrawals. After that first week, it was all about the psychological withdrawals, which was in a way, much more harder. At least I felt like I could control the physical aspect of myself, whereas the psychological withdrawals were not as easy to get rid off.

Nonetheless I am a non-smoker right now. The physical withdrawals have stopped long ago, but the psychological have not, and I wonder if they ever will. I stopped because of surgery, but have "permission" to start again at about the 10th of march.

Right now, as I am writing this (and this even being in an intoxicated state), I don't feel the need to have a cigarette. Or. Perhaps a bit (is anything else possible, when hearing Porcelain?). But one thing is for sure: If I don't feel the need to smoke at march the 10th, then I of course won't. But. If I do. Then I will have a cigarette. Bcause I decided a long time ago that if something makes me happy, more than it harms me, then I'll do it. So if that means that I'll only live 'til 70 years, instead of 80, then I'll gladly take it, because that'll mean I lived my life to the fullest. At least it'll mean that to me.

Current mood: Addicted
Listening to: Gasoline by Porcelain And The Tramps